Thursday 22 March 2018

What The Hell's Going On?

Pope Francis is in hot water again. There is even some suggestion that his alleged comment - that hell doesn't exist, and I use the word 'alleged' very loudly - makes him an heretic.

I am tickled pink by this. An heretical Pope! Probably not even possible, given Papal Infallibility ( Which, yes, I know only applies to matters of faith and morals, but I think 'Hell' is a faith thing, so I'm definitely invoking Infallibility here.)

I used to muse, amused, on the various titles I'd like to have, were such available to me. "Black Rod" "Lady of the Bedchamber" "Grand Duke" "Miss Universe" "Mistress of Ceremonies" ... The list was long, and marked by the fact that I was totally ineligible, on grounds of gender, age and/or suitability, for any of them. I didn't care, I'd let the title roll round my tongue, fantasising on the grand dinners, unlikely costumes, and number of lackeys I might accrue from any fame/status/wealth that attached to the title. It was fun. It made me laugh.

The shortest consideration I gave to any title was, Pope. Now that's a really tough gig. Palaces, castles, adulation, and the rest, offer no compensation for the burden of being Christ's Vicar on Earth. Bearing any kind of responsibility for the foibles of my fellow-men doesn't look like any fun to me, especially if you can't have a coffee and a chat with an old friend without ending up being burned at the stake. (Metaphorically. Allegedly.)

I suspect Pope Francis (See how close I got? I didn't get his title, but he pinched my name!) will brush off the current furore with his usual aplomb, and fairly soon he'll have come up with some new staggering piece of unconventional wisdom, to keep the wolves in sheep's clothing in the Vatican in an even higher state of dudgeon. Keep it up, Francis, those of us who are heartened by a bit of heresy (alleged) are praying for you.

 

PS: 'State of High Dudgeon'! Does it need a Prime Minister, by any chance?

 


 

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